Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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