Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
