I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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