is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He passed out mid-signature
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize