I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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