I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
