I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
