The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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