So drunk its hurt
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
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