for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize