things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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