I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
