hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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