i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just pynch a tree in the face
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
