I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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