I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
