She's JV to your varsity
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
