his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
