btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
