Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize