smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
