After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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This is the prime rib incident all over again
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?