dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
