So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize