Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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