I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
wow bdsm is so cute
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
