the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
