Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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