whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
