Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
