it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
