My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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