im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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