she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
