Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
