So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
