we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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