Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
