Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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