You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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