Are we in a gay sports bar?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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