This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
A+ Viking dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
