I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize