It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
