Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize