Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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