No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
