smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
