I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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