The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
