the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
