Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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