well I can't set my house on fire every night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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