Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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