Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
