she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
