Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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