why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
