i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
