We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
