Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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