It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
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dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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