three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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