Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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