Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
