I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
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