She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
